They’ve been around in the UK for a few years, typically known as ‘all the gear, no idea’ riders. The construction of man-made trailcentres in Ireland in the last year or two has meant they have become increasingly common sight in the hills around Dublin leading to the term ‘goober’. You know the story – shiny new bikes, bad setup, lots of expensive kit, a reluctance to ride anywhere other than marked trails, riding veerrryyy slowly up the hills, riding very badly back down again but able to tell you everything there is to know about the latest bikes and components (providing it has been written about in a magazine).
It turns out this could be a world-wide phenomenon, Euro-goobers take things to a new level with the Zuri-goober being possibly the pinnacle of gooberness. There are lots of people with too much money and no idea what to do with it. There even seem to be some Euro bike brands that specialize in making such bikes.
I’ve seen beautiful €5000 carbon xtr clad bikes utterly destroyed by the addition of a stand, a gigantic GPS, a bell, mudguards, bar ends, luggage racks and even wing mirrors. I have to question what goes through these people’s mind when they buy such accessories, its a crime against cycling and good design. I’ve seen hardcore downhillers with 100s of mm of travel, full face helmets and full body armour getting loose and wild descending the fireroads beside Zurich (I wouldn’t mind but there is even a goober friendly waymarked trail they could use!). I get funny looks for riding up the hills when I could take the tram and even more funny looks for hurtling past such people on my little hardtail down the singletracks.
There is even an equivalent hiker – fully clad in gore-tex, mountaineering style hiking books, rucksacks large enough to survive for a week, and essential here are ski poles to aid walking slowly up the hills. They only walk on fireroads in the small hills beside the city, stop for a picnic after 10 minutes and get in the way but complain like mad when mountain bikers want to get past.
I’ve started to make a collection of photos of their wonderful bikes, here is a taster to be updated with more soon:
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- ruining the view
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- Zurich shopping bike
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- typical Euro-Goober